Tension

TENSION.
“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” Friedrich Nietzsche


MEPHISTO:

It is dark outside.......even darker inside........darkness feels like home now. I do not turn on the lights and just watch the wandering lights of the cars passing by dance in their chaotic way on the ceiling. I am in a space of stillness.........almost. Yet, something inside – I cannot place the finger of my mind on it yet – is striving to rise to the surface. Musice. Perchance, the music will set it right and the shadow piece will come into the light. I wave my hand and the motion-sensor glass of the stereo parts before my hand – if only she let me Play with her as easily as that. Moby.......slow instrumental.......primal rhythms.......yes, that's right. Something almost trance. I turn on the base and sink back into black leather of the couch, feeling the vibrations..... I find myself holding a delicate cognac glass......and Remy is somehow in it. I take a sip. Something is still missing. I hear a knock. It is night. I am not expecting anyone. I throw on a light sweater and wander through the moon-lit garden to invite my night visitor. The primal beat is getting under my skin....or is it the combination of that with the night air and Remy? Something – it is warming my blood, it is making that dark undercurrent turbulence even stronger.

The knock is subtle, almost muffled, as though the night visitor is wearing a velvet glove. I open. It is the scent that I meet first – musky, gentle, almost like the night air itself. Then white fur touches my hand – She stands in front of me in a long white mink – it covers her from head to toe.......even the head is covered by a hood. The wind is playing with her hair around the moon-lit face, which makes her skin appear even whiter than usual. She feels so tall today – I see delicate transparent high heels peeking out from under the mink. I get a sudden urge to take her feet into my hands and warm them. She walks in calmly with an air of confidence and “I'm at home,” and a half-a-playful-smile curling her delicate lips. I offer to take her coat. She says: “no.” She is starting to feel the beat of the music as she walks, her heels hit the floor tile in tact......it's almost choreographed, but I know she is simply in her element. There is nothing artificial about her, and yet she is naturally like a one-woman theatre.........unpredictible, impossible to stop watching. I watch her feline movements to the living room – I walk after her and feel like I am watching a beautiful, dangerous animal.

My thoughts momentarily zoom to that dinner where I felt her presence inside of me and welcomed it without fear. I still don't know how, but I know she was there – both in her and in me. I wanted it like that, although it was she who initiated it. I did not want that presence to leave, I do remember that. I still don't understand it. I just want more. I follow her into the living room, and just catch a glimpse of the white fur whirling onto the deck. I follow, leaving Remy behind. She is leaning over the balustrade and looking at the moon reflection in the water. The moon lights up the curves of her body as the fur is hugging them – a part of me wants to push her and fall with her........and fly momentarily, like that time in a hang-glider. Yet, this time it would be without a wing. No. Reel back. You are stepping over the line - even in your mind. The other thing I want to do to her – why, that's much more reasonable.......and WAY more tempting. After all, there is only a thin furry white skin that separates me from touching her.........well, that and her unpredictable reaction. Yes, there's that. And then it would be too easy, and that's what she might half-expect me to do.........so why would I?

FELINE:

I absorb the moonlight as I lean over the balustrade and watch its reflection from the water far below. I can feel his steps by the slight vibration of the floor – he walks so quietly, it sometimes makes me wonder if he is an agent. He approaches me from behind. I do not turn or react........at first. He comes to me and envelops my back – the coat and all.........and through it, I can feel the firmness of his toned body.....after all, only some animal skin is separating his flesh from mine. His breath is hot. And his scent.....bare, male, clean scent is doing something beyond my control to my body.....it's hard to believe scientists are still questioning the pheromone theory.....He just took a shower. His skin is still slightly moist. He holds me entirely. He envelops me. I feel almost possessed – comfort and desire at the same time, the settled and the deeply turbulent rising up from deep below. He can feel what is happening to my body. He knows I am two steps ahead in mental chess – he likes it this way often. I would lie to say I do not enjoy the knowledge of this power.....the power to tease his body and mind, the power to build and let loose, the power to tense and release the charge between us.........that pleasure is all the more intense when I know he enjoys the play as much as I do. He starts to gently caress my neck....he is touching it lightly, yet with almost tangible intensity that hints at “what lies beneath.” I feel like there is a dam inside of him that has built up, and when it shall fall, I wonder if it will simply wash us into the ocean like a pair of helpless fish.....He owns the Yang Power more completely than anyone I've ever encountered. I know this dam is not for everyone. I know this one is for me with the same certainty as the fact that I have 2 hands. I turn to face him suddenly, upon some deeper impulse. His eyes are glowing with moonlight – I can see my own image in them.....a few years ago, I would be flustered here. Not now. Composure. Gentle poker-face. The tension between us is palpable, I can almost taste it. We both crave each other's touch beyond what I thought may be possible. His fingers trace the contour of my face, down my neck, down the clavicle I can see his pupils narrow when his fingers encounter a diamond necklace, warmed by my body. I let him proceed to the one clip that holds the fur mantle together.......He does this slowly, almost painfully....teasing me, yet I know teasing himself oh so much more.......I let him do that.....I love watching his eyes when he does this now.....

MEPHISTO

My fingers grasp the clip that holds Her in the furry body halo........It falls to the ground almost inaudibly, streaming around Her like milky, soft waterfalls. She is standing in front of me in her moonlit primal divinity....with nothing but a hand-full of moon-sparkling diamonds on her neck and chest and her transparent high heels...... Galatea, oh, your Pygmalion would be proud. Only you are not his. Nor are you mine.....yet. But you are here. With me. Now..... My throat is dry. Words do not come. She sees my confusion and visual ecstasy, she sees the power of my desire, she enjoys the sweet torture she sees in my eyes. I can see a thought run through her presence: “there's a certain satisfaction in a little bit of pain........” You are Madonna...primal, beautiful, feline, heathen, wild........a Siren of the kind from which no ear-wax and mast-tying would rescue one. You are a walking paradox, and you know it and enjoy what it does to my mind and my body, and nothing pleases you more than seeing the gap between the two – my body longing for you and my mind holding yours, meeting it, sometimes giving in to you and sometimes resisting you...... I cannot bear this any longer. My teeth are clenched.......She is watching me with her cool yet intense eyes, with a subtle corner-smile......She is comfortable with the silence – more comfortable than any woman I've ever seen. She sees my effort to hold the mind-body gap and to hold back the dam of the desire I feel rising to the surface with full force........Then she suddenly smiles and starts running towards the hot pool – she got what she wanted.....now is my turn. Our turn. Our touch.......our primal amalgam......I run after her. My mind surrenders fully to my tsunami of my body.......